Life is getting back to normal, but it's still not the same!

It's been almost two weeks since Nastya left and I've been busy catching up on work that I put off while she was here. This is my busiest time of year as a bookkeeper with year end reporting for 2012 happening so I've really been hustling to get it all done. It's been a nice distraction and throwing myself back into my work has helped quay the tears and the dull ache of separation that has yet to leave my stomach.

I've also been busy getting our house back in order. Christmas decorations are finally down (I didn't have the heart to take them down before Nastya left) and we have rearranged the bedrooms so that Samantha now has her room back. However there are still lots of things around here to remind us of Nastya and I think about her and pray for her several times a day.

She made these flowers out of tissue for me one night

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not sure we will ever take this down!

For those of you who sent her stickers...this is where many of them ended up!

These say "Angel Mommy" and "Angel Daddy"

Our stairwell was turned into an art gallery

This has all our names and then says "my family, I love you" in the bottom right corner

The other side of the stairwell with signs for Dada and Mama

Another work of art

I find myself wondering about her often and adding the nearly half a day to ours to figure out where she is at that very moment. What did she do today? What did she eat for dinner? Did she think about us at all?


We sent a digital photo book back with her and a mp3 player so I'm guessing that she has paused more than once to flip through them and think of us. Oh, and she did take those roller blades back with her (as carry-on in her backpack!) so once the warmer weather comes I'm sure she'll be tearing up the Ukrainian pavement and remembering her fun here!

Showing off her mp3 player to host friend Nataliya at the airport

We have yet to try and call her, but will probably give it a shot this week. So far, the other three families who hosted kids from her school this winter have not had any luck getting through so I'm keeping my expectations low. We knew before she left that Nastya did not have any internet access so phone calls, letters and care packages will be our only communication for now.

Speaking of care packages, she should be receiving our first care package any day now! It was mailed by the New Horizons interview team while they were in the Ukraine talking to kids for the summer hosting program. Odds are good that it won't get lost in the mail and that it will find it's way to her. There are lots of goodies in there: hair barrettes, snickers bar, pistachios, stickers, gum, a small stuffed panda (of course), some compressed washclothes, a flashlight and a few other goodies that are slipping my mind right now. I didn't have the presence of mind to take a photo (I was stealthily packing it in our garage while she was still here because it had to ship to the interview team before she left). Wish I could be there to see her face when she receives it!

I will continue to post updates as I have them on any communication we have with Nastya and any new news on her medical care (which I need to follow up on this week...please continue to send up prayers that we will make some progress in that area!) In the meantime, I am going to start to write some "catch up" blogs to share some more of our escapades from her visit. Keep an eye out in the next day or so for a post on our fun day with Nastya's chaperone Andrey!

Tears of sadness; Tears of relief

It is so quiet around our house today. Samantha is off to school. Trevor is watching a show. And Nastya is on a plane back to the Ukraine along with a piece of my heart.

Sad, but still smiling

It's hard to believe that our much anticipated visit with her is already over. Last night was tough. We were finishing up our after dinner ice cream and, for the first time, Nastya asked me "I sleep now?" Very funny kid! For most of her visit we would get a "No sleep!" from her when we said bed time was coming. This actually became kind of a joke for us over the course of her visit. At any rate, I had to sadly tell her "No, you airport" which brought the tears on again for both of us. We had been prepping her for the past week and counting down so this wasn't a surprise; more a dreaded confirmation that the time had come.

She asked me to pull her hair into ponytails for the last time (this was a common occurrence...after the botched job I did on her braids, she never asked for that again!) And we both stood there with tears in our eyes. She looked so little all of a sudden. We got the last of her things together (her bag had been mostly packed for the past couple of days already) and headed downstairs to say goodbye to Trevor and Samantha. It's hard to tell how much of their tears were because they were tired (it was bedtime and Sam had been sick all day Sunday) but I know that they will miss having their "big sister" around and will be sad for a while. 

A little teary-eyed, but at least Panda is safe (thanks Grammy & Papa!)

On the drive to the airport Greg and I were joking with her about the fun things we did while she was here. We talked a little about her reunion with her sisters and friends and how fun that would be. We tried to be upbeat, but it was hard. 

At the airport she was happy to see her chaperone, Andrey, but she also became pretty solemn and quiet. Honestly, we were too. There just weren't any last words that made sense. And it wasn't just us. All of the host families seemed to be focusing on the mechanics of getting their kiddos through ticketing and embracing the distraction so we didn't have to think about what was coming.

The whole LAX crew

When it was time to say goodbye, I knelt down and hugged her tightly, kissed her cheek and told her she was a good girl and we loved her. I couldn't contain my tears and even though she was stronger than I was, she spilled a few too. I think we held it together pretty well all things considered. Andrey was trying to be lighthearted and said "no crying, no crying", but I'm still glad that she knows we were sad to see her leave and I'm also glad, as I had been several times during her visit, that she was able to express her emotions as well.

 












Greg and I were reflecting during the drive back from LAX last night that we are so thankful that we went into this process knowing that Nastya was not available for adoption and that she was "host only". It really freed us up to have fun with her, fulfill some of her requests for activities and work on getting her medical care. This doesn't mean we didn't love her, weren't intentional about parenting her or that we didn't grow attached, but I think it helped us to let her go knowing that she was only going to be ours for a little while. Some of our fellow host families are putting their future kids on a plane and will not see them for six months to a year at least. I can't imagine.


As far as Nastya's future goes, she asked us if we would have her back to visit. There are no guarantees that she will be available for future hosting periods, but we are hopeful that she will be. If nothing else, we hope we will be able to get her back over here for further medical care. I told her we have loved having her and we hope God will provide an opportunity for us to have her here again. This is the best we could promise and, although vague, I think she realized that this was not a forever goodbye for any of us.

Look at that smile...she knows she isn't rid of us yet!

She has shared with us that she has older siblings, some with their own families, who are gainfully employed (one works in a dairy...another on a farm) and who have never been in the orphan system. She seems to be very close to them (we sent back gifts for all of them) and says she sees them regularly. 

It still breaks my heart that she is growing up without parents, but I am hoping that when her time comes to strike out on her own, they will be there to at least offer guidance and keep her from falling prey to the awful prospects that face most of these kids. You can read my earlier post with the statistics here. While life in the Ukraine will certainly not be easy for Nastya, we hope she is the exception to the rule and we hope we can continue to have a positive influence on her life over the next several years.

As you all know, we have had tons of fun with her here. It was kind of like a four week vacation. But, just like when a great vacation comes to an end, we are exhausted. Our house is a mess. Our routine has been history for a long time. So, although we will miss her terribly, it is also somewhat of a relief to know that things will get back to "normal" again. Our lives will forever be changed by our time with her (and God willing vice-versa), but they will also go on until we can get her back over here again. 

I love this wild, silly girl, but I have to confess that a few of my tears today have been tears of relief!

I plan to have a future post dedicated to how hosting Nastya has positively impacted our family because there were many surprising ways. One of the biggest ways, and probably the least surprising, is the fact that we have become much more aware of the incredible need for families to reach out in meaningful ways to the orphaned children of the world. 

As I catch my breath in the coming weeks, I look forward to sharing the rest of our experiences with Nastya, but also hope to share some of the stories of fellow host families, stories of fostering, and stories of adoption as I run across them so that we can all become a little bit more aware and ask ourselves "what is it that God is calling me to do?"

It's not that I don't care; it's just that I'm having too much fun!

Hello readers of my sorely neglected blog. I would apologize for being a slacker, but the real reason I haven't been keeping up with my posts is that life has just been way more busy and exciting with Nastya here than I ever could have anticipated. This girl likes to be active and we are having lots of fun! 

Dressin' up for Wii dance game

We have been miniature golfing, have gone to the LA Zoo, and the Aquarium of the Pacific. We have had a dental, vision and ortho appointments. We have visited Chuck E. Cheese and Jump n' Jammin' indoor playground twice. She has had her face painted (a butterfly) for the first time. She has tried frozen yogurt, had Japanese food cooked in front of her, and we've had a girls' beauty day. We have spent lots of quality time together as a family playing wii games, hide and seek, reading, riding bikes, skating and playing board games. We even had a glow stick party dance party one night!

Our creepy bunch (vampire teeth courtesy of Chuck E Cheese)

She has gotten to know and love our extended family and several of our friends as well. I have watched her face change from bewilderment at receiving her first letter in the mail to now having her beg me to go check it (and what cool mail and cards she has received from some of you...thanks!). Tomorrow we are taking her to Disneyland (thanks to a handful of very kind friends who are making it possible) for our last big "hurrah" before she leaves us on Monday.

Me and my Minnie cup

I have so many details of fun things we have done and I look forward to sharing them with you, but I can safely say at this point that it will be AFTER Nastya leaves. I am soaking up every last minute with this wonderful little girl who calls me Mami and who threw her arms around my neck the other day, said "I love you", and planted a messy wet kiss on my cheek.

Love this kid!

I know now, with absolute certainty, that God did not bring her into our family by mistake. He has a plan for her, for our family, and for all of you who have supported us for the past few months. Even though she will go back to the Ukraine in four days, our story will continue.

Before signing off, I want to share the much promised medical update...mostly because I want to request prayers for wisdom for Greg and I.

After meeting with the specialist at LA Orthopedic Hospital this past Wednesday, we've been able to discern that Nastya truly does have a leg length discrepancy. It was obvious when she arrived and even though she compensates for it very well, it is significant. The challenge of the short leg is further exacerbated by the fact that she was born with a  hip deformity that causes the hip joint of the shorter leg to slope upward instead of downward as it should.

Needless to say this is not a quick nor easy fix. It would require two surgeries and constant monitoring here in the States for a year. We are unsure what we will be able to do at this point, but we intend to pursue whatever course is agreeable to Nastya and to both the US and Ukrainian governments. As you can imagine there are a ton of factors at play in this situation and we are still wrapping our minds around all of the pros, cons, time constraints, and red tape involved.

It is hard to not feel discouraged by what seems to be an insurmountable task ahead, but Jesus promised that "with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26) so I will stay faithful and look forward to seeing Him work some miracles over this situation in His time.

In the meantime, Nastya will be going back to the Ukraine with a modified, lifted, shoe which should improve her gait (and maybe make it possible for her to run?) so we are excited that we have been able to help in this way. If nothing else, she will at least know what she is dealing with now (the orphanage had diagnosed her with scoliosis and she was wearing a brace at some point in the past). Please pray that she wears the shoe, that it helps, and that at some point in the future God will make the path clear for us to do more. Thanks everyone!!

God has a sense of humor...

...and so do we! If we had any doubt that God guided us to hosting Nastya, the silly pictures in this post should prove it. She's as wild and crazy as we are! 

Photo bomb!

Not even sure what to say about this one...

Many of you have commented on how much she lookes like Samantha. Ironically, she is also very much like Samantha in personality as well. Sam has always hated going to sleep and this kid is no exception. We've made a joke about Nastya saying in a sing-song voice "no sleep". Picture this said with a cute Ukrainian accent, and you'll know what we hear almost every night. 





This kid loves her "booble bat", which is good because she also likes to play with ink pads!

She is pretty particular about what she eats but she can devour a plate of chicken wings and leave very little but the bones behind, she's a huge fan of pizza and anything from the potato group (especially chips..."cheeps"), and she loves chocolate (my kind of gal). She's told us she doesn't like spicy foods so our diet has been pretty bland, but I've been impressed with her willingness to at least try any new things we offer (usually with a little bit of proding however).

 
















You already know that she loves skating and anything that involves being active, but she is also very focused when it comes to playing board games. We have introduced her to Memory, Zingo, the Busytown Game, and a few others. She may actually be the luckiest person I've ever met because she wins nearly all the time (which is good because I'm finding that she's not a great loser!)


Auntie Mer made us matching braids!

Wild hairdo time for Mami (payback for my poor braiding skills?)

She says she has studied English for 5 years so even though we don't get a lot of sentences spoken, I'm fairly confident that she understands us a lot of the time. I am really impressed with her because she often takes the initiative to practice while she is here.

She enjoys playing our kids' MobiGo game system that has alphabet games on it. She has been willing to watch some of the Netflix selections that teach basic English (Leapfrog stuff...geared toward toddlers and such). And she has instigated games like "my name is____" with us where we point at something and say what it is in English. I keep telling her that I'm proud of her and love watching her face light up when I tell her how smart she is for practicing.

She has shared with me that she does go to church (or rather church comes to her) back at the boarding school in the Ukraine. I had not purchased a Bible for her yet...just a storybook version...so I was happy to hear her say that she would like one and have ordered that for her to take back home.

After this past week's church service I asked her what she thought about our church. She said it was very different (we happened to have a more contemporary musical presentation this week to add icing to the cake). She is familiar with an orthodox service so I'm sure it was quite different than what she's used to. So far she has sat through services, but I could tell she was bored.

Next week I plan to take her to Samantha's Sunday school class so she can see what that's all about. They usually have a basic lesson and a craft and I think she will enjoy that a bit more than sitting through a service in a language she doesn't understand.


Just put on a silly face

It's hard to believe it, but we are already past the two week mark of her visit. Time is flying by! We have a few more big outings planned while she is here, but I am also looking forward to the week I have with her after Sam and Trevor are back in school.

I feel like we are just seeing the tip of the iceberg with her and I'm hoping that the kids being in school will slow the pace down and provide the opportunity for me to have some more meaningful interaction and some quality time chatting on Google Translate with her. We shall see!



Just one of the (crazy) family