A long road ahead...

It's 9:24pm in Ukraine right now and Nastya is getting ready for a long trip.

I'm not sure about all the details (and I'm really bad at calculating flight time...over several different time zones... spanning two days) but I am assuming that she will be traveling by train to the airport in which case she has a very long 9 hour trip at the start of her journey. After that, she will get on a plane and fly for another 9 hours before landing in New York. Then, after a 2 1/2 hour layover she will get on a plane once again and fly for 5 more hours. All told, she will be traveling between 25 and 30 hours (my best guess) to get here.

This is a rigorous travel schedule even for the most seasoned business traveler and I'm pretty sure she's never been on a plane before! She's also very likely traveling with very few personal belongings which means that, aside from sleeping and possibly talking to the four other kids or the chaperone on her flight (assuming they are sitting near one another) she doesn't have much to do. I can't imagine it for myself, let alone for a 10 year old girl! If we weren't already amazed at the resilience that these kids have, now is the time to let it really sink in.

So today I am praying extra prayers for health, safety and endurance for her over the next two days. Will you join me? God has heard our prayers so far and I know He will make her as comforatable as possible until she can be here with us and spoiled appropriately. Can't wait!

Jealousy and Generosity

One of the things that has been shared with us as a reality of hosting is that we might experience some jealousy...either from Samantha and Trevor over attention given to Nastya, or commonly even the other way around as Nastya bonds with us.

We are not naive in thinking that this won't happen, but so far Samantha and Trevor have both had seemingly generous perspectives on Nastya's visit and have randomly brought up aspects of her visit without me even prompting them. They've talked about toys and activities they can share with her. They've had some great ideas for games we can play. Samantha mentioned that while Nastya might not appreciate our usual kids' shows (due to her not understanding English) that maybe she would enjoy the show "Signing Time" since it teaches single words and the ASL equivalents of them (brilliant!) I guess in a couple of days we will find out!

Speaking of generosity, my first reaction in anticipating Nastya's visit was to think of all the gifts and "things" we could shower upon her. After all, this is a child who has grown up with virtually nothing and we have so much! And while we have definitely bought some things for her and are looking forward to giving her some gifts, I have also been thinking of ways to give her the gift of "giving".

To speak to this I have another quote to share from Alex Krutov's book: Infinitely More. You may remember from an earlier post that Alex was a Russian orphan who grew up in the orphanage system in the 90s. Here is what he had to say about his mentality as an orphan:

"There is a phenomenon with orphans, at least for those who grew up in an orphanage, that goes contrary to expectations: a sense of entitlement that comes from years of someone else providing for you. Never mind that their core needs of love and affection were never met, or that their provisions were secondhand, ill-fitting clothing and shoes, or that their showers were cold. Their perceived needs were always met by someone else - and not anyone close to them either, but by an impersonal 'them' (Infinitely More p180)". He goes on to say that this mentality is crippling to the kids once they are on thier own (usually at 16) and have to fend for themselves.

So, aside from the obvious gifts and activities that we will shower on Nastya while she is here, I am also determined to find some area where we can serve together during her visit (and I know it is equally important for my kids to have this experience!) It shouldn't be hard to do since it will be Christmas time, but I hope that we will be able to find a meaningful way to introduce her to the concept of "giving" if she hasn't already had that opportunity. If any of you have any good ideas, I would love to hear them!

Tying Up Loose Ends

Nastya is arriving in less than four days and I owe you all a major update. I've had a bunch of answered prayers happen here, big and small, and I haven't yet shared them. I also want to take the opportunity to thank you all again for your donations and to attest to just how well God has provided for us. Perhaps a little good news is in order to help comfort our hurting hearts?

First of all, a big one: an update on Nastya's medical care. I was finally able to schedule an appointment with Childrens Hospital Los Angeles' Orthopedic Center. They are providing us with a consultation, x-rays and, assuming that Nastya's leg length discrepancy can be treated with a simple shoe lift, a free shoe modification (which they will turn around on-site for us in 24 hours). All of this is FREE of charge...yahoo!

The only catch is that the best available appointment was January 7th which is only a week before she leaves. I'd appreciate prayers that everything will work out and we will have enough time to have her adequately treated. I was hoping to get a second hospital on the hook...just in case...but wasn't able to make that happen, so I am trusting that we've done the best we could at this point.

I have another medicaI update. I asked my eye doctor if she would be able to see Nastya to which she replied "of course, bring her in!" Then, as we were talking about the program and the fact that I also have to get Nastya a dental visit while she's here, Dr. Patel busts out with "I have a brother who's a dentist!" She has since contacted him and given me his number if I need it. How cool is that?!

I already have my kids' dentist on the hook for the initial check up and x-rays, but just in case Nastya needs 14 cavaties filled (as some of the previous host families have experienced) it is nice to know that I have a couple of dentists to share the workload. (I'm going to do everything I can to get her taken care of here because if she is treated back home, it will be WITHOUT novocaine...ugh.)

Then there are all the donations that have poured in:



Aquarium tix! 

* I received the Aquarium of the Pacific tickets I requested...yay!

* A sweet friend has a connection who can get us into Disneyland!

* We've had the equivalent of three large trash bags of beautiful clothes donated.



A great start on clothes!



(We just need a few pair of pants, a few more long sleeved shirts, and a couple of pair of shoes and she should be set.)

* Another dear friend gifted an Old Navy card to Nastya so we will be able to make a dent in that list!

* I found an inexpensive suitcase at Ross that fit the specs perfectly...it was the only one that size and it was the cheapest one there...just waiting for us!

The perfect suitcase

* We received a final check from another friend after our hosting fees were already paid so I splurged and bought her these:


Rollerblading was one of only three things she requested to do while here!

* And look what I found at the local thrift store on Wednesday for only $3...yahoo! (FYI - helmets cost almost as much as the blades so this was a steal!):


Practically brand new!

As you can see, we have been extremely blessed in our preparations. We very much appreciate those of you who have made physical donations to Nastya and for those of you who have been praying for us...it's working...keep it up!

In closing I want to share with you the words from one of my favorite hymns (taken from Psalm 23):

My Shepherd will supply my need:
Jehovah is His Name;
In pastures fresh He makes me feed,
Beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back
When I forsake His ways,
And leads me, for His mercy’s sake,
In paths of truth and grace.
When I walk through the shades of death
Thy presence is my stay;
One word of Thy supporting breath
Drives all my fears away.
Thy hand, in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread;
My cup with blessings overflows,
Thine oil anoints my head.
The sure provisions of my God
Attend me all my days;
O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise.
There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come;
No more a stranger, nor a guest,
But like a child at home.

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir has a beautiful version on their you tube channel if you're interested in hearing it.

What is wrong with the world?

I'm supposed to be posting an update on a sweet little girl who will be joining us for Christmas in a few days, but instead I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes for eighteen innocent little children and eight heroic adults who will not be spending Christmas with their families. What is wrong with the world?

Many will blame God, but this is not how God intended for us to live. In Jeremiah 29:11 God says to us "for I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

We were not made for despair. We were not made to live with the stresses we inflict upon ourselves and one another. We were not made to turn a blind eye to one another's pain. We were not made to destroy one another.

He gave us free will so that we could fully experience love, but with free will comes the freedom to make poor choices. He wants us to choose Him! In II Peter 3:9 we are told "the Lord is not slack concerning [His] promise...but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish..." The God I know is greiving with us. And that is why I am thankful to know Him and to be able to cling to Him for hope and to pray at times like these.

Please pray everyone. Pray for comfort for the families of the victims today. Pray for those who witnessed the terror at Sandy Hook and survived. Pray for the young people in our world who are increasingly filled with dispair and trauma and can't seem to find constructive ways of dealing with it. Pray for those in our communities struggling with mental illness. Pray that God will give each of us the ability to see into the hearts of those closest to us and recognize when they might be struggling or in pain or need our comfort.

I hope that we will ask God to help us keep our priorities in order and to focus on what is truly important this holiday season. While I have lots left to do to prepare for Nastya's visit, my primary focus for this afternoon is going to be to snuggle with my kids and make sure that they know that I love them.

Bunking up!


It's hard to believe that the time has already come, but we spent a big part of this past weekend transitioning Samantha out of her room and into her "new" shared space with Trevor.

Here is what their rooms looked like before:


Trevor's Room

Samantha's Room






Everyone pitched in to help switch things up...



Trevor packing up some dinos

Greg flipping Trev's bed 

Samantha settling into her new digs

I was so impressed with our kids! Trevor had a little trouble on Saturday when we flipped his bed over and brought Sam's bedding in (there were some shouts of "my room" ringing through the halls) but, in all fairness, it was late in the afternoon and he had not had a nap.

On Sunday we moved the rest of Sam's stuff in and he was fine. Samantha has been nothing but agreeable about everything which is not like her (calm before the storm?) She willingly helped me pack up a bunch of her little knick-knack items and she even went through her treasure box and picked out some special things that she said she wanted to gift to Nastya.

Here's the "after":

Samantha and Trevor's new set up

Nastya's Room!

 

  

We will be displaying her mail on this  clothesline...

Mr. Panda will be coming to the airport with us!







There's a pretty good chance that Nastya will end up in the same room with our two kiddos during her visit (she is used to having a few roomies back home) so we are prepared for that to happen. There's even a possibility that she will end up on a mattress on the floor of our room...no worries.

 

We just wanted her to have a space of her own to be able to go decompress if she needs it. She is going to have a lot to adjust to when she first arrives (someone described it to being transplanted onto Mars) so we hope that having Samantha's room as her own will be a blessing to her.

 

We still need to make some welcome signs for Nastya to help her feel like Samantha's room is hers, but I've still got 7 days to make that happen, right? Eeeek!! Thanks for your continued prayers that everything else will come together...we are so excited!

Simple Gifts

Several of you have asked about sending gifts for Nastya while she is here (thank you!). While I know she would love to receive them, she only has one 50 pound suitcase to take back with her and that will primarily contain clothes and other necessary items that we can squeeze in there. That being said, I have an idea for those of you who would like to bless her...a simple and inexpensive gift that you can provide (even for those who are not in California) that I hope will put a big smile on Nastya's face while she is here.

I was struck with this idea while reading one of the books recommended by New Horizons for us to read in preparation for her visit. The book, "Infinitely More", is written by a Russian Orphan named Alex Krutov who was living in the orphanage system in the 90s. He shares the story of visiting the United States on a student visa and living with a family for an extended period of time. He describes how he would run to the mailbox of his host family every day to get the mail and was so excited about even the most inconsequential piece of junk mail. He couldn't figure out why none of the family members were excited to go to the mailbox. He had never (or at least rarely) received mail of his own before.

I was thinking...wouldn't it be great if Anastasya had this same experience? It would be an amazing and inexpensive Christmas gift for her to receive some mail while she is here.

So I'd like to ask you to to send her a note...maybe decorated festively (including a picture of you and your family if possible). You could include a package of stickers or a CD with some favorite music she might like if you want to get fancy with it...be creative...just think small.  I'll read it for her using Google Translate. If you don't already have our mailing address, you can e-mail me at chefanies@yahoo.com and I'll be happy to share it with you.

Nastya arrives in 11 days and we'll be checking the mail for the first time on the 19th (so if you'd like to mail something, shoot for that date or later).  I'm really excited about this and will be making an effort to document our trips to the mailbox here. Thanks in advance for helping us give her yet another experience to make her feel special and welcome!

The "A" word

This weekend we attended a five hour training session to help prepare us for our quickly approaching month as host parents to Nastya. We received a lot of great information, asked a lot of questions and enjoyed hearing stories from a few families who had previously hosted. It's hard to believe that the rubber hits the road in just two weeks!

One of the most important things we discussed was use of the "A" word...Adoption. Although many of the kids who are hosted this winter will go on to be adopted here in the United states, I want to emphasize that New Horizons is not an adoption agency. It is an orphan hosting program and any mention of the "A" word can jeopardize the program. Additionally, use of the "A" word can cause extreme confusion and heartbreak for Nastya if she hears it and misunderstands the context.

I bet your thinking that there isn't much chance that this topic would come up in your day to day conversation, but there have been several cases in past hosting seasons where this has happened:

* In the process of discussing a pet’s “adoption”…a hosted child heard the word, didn’t realize it was in relation to a pet, and instead thought it was him! It wasn't.
* When attending a church service, the pastor was so excited to welcome the hosted children present, he asked for church members to pray that each child would get adopted.
* When a mom was driving down the road, with music playing, she thought her hosted child couldn’t understand, so she called someone and discussed adoption of the child. The child heard and soon spread the “news” to others at group events that they were all being adopted!
* In discussing the joy of personally being an “adopted” child, a parent was trying to share a personal experience, but the hosted child misunderstood and thought it was about him/her.

It will be easy for all of us to assume that because Nastya does not speak much English, that we can speak freely and she will not understand what is being said. However, she may actually understand more than we realize and be able to pick up on various parts of our conversations...enough to be confused by words she recognizes even if they are out of context. Please partner with us in not discussing the "A" word or anything relating to it in her presence.

While I'm on the subject, some of you might be wondering if we have thought about the possibility of adopting Nastya. The short answer is that not all kids who come here for hosting are available for adoption. We have reason to believe that Nastya falls into this category and so we have not gone into this hosting program with any expectation of adoption. Instead we share her understanding that she is coming to America for a four week vacation (and we plan to make it her best vacation ever!) She knows that at the end of the four weeks she will go back home and it is our hope that we will bond with her in a way that will facilitate us all staying in touch.

We appreciate the tremendous support we have received from all of you: incredible words of encouragement, beyond generous financial help, clothing and material donations, and even offers of various personal services. Your outpouring of love and your ongoing prayers have been overwhelming! Thanks for adding one more thing, avoidance of this potentially damaging word, to the list of ways you can support us.