Jealousy and Generosity

One of the things that has been shared with us as a reality of hosting is that we might experience some jealousy...either from Samantha and Trevor over attention given to Nastya, or commonly even the other way around as Nastya bonds with us.

We are not naive in thinking that this won't happen, but so far Samantha and Trevor have both had seemingly generous perspectives on Nastya's visit and have randomly brought up aspects of her visit without me even prompting them. They've talked about toys and activities they can share with her. They've had some great ideas for games we can play. Samantha mentioned that while Nastya might not appreciate our usual kids' shows (due to her not understanding English) that maybe she would enjoy the show "Signing Time" since it teaches single words and the ASL equivalents of them (brilliant!) I guess in a couple of days we will find out!

Speaking of generosity, my first reaction in anticipating Nastya's visit was to think of all the gifts and "things" we could shower upon her. After all, this is a child who has grown up with virtually nothing and we have so much! And while we have definitely bought some things for her and are looking forward to giving her some gifts, I have also been thinking of ways to give her the gift of "giving".

To speak to this I have another quote to share from Alex Krutov's book: Infinitely More. You may remember from an earlier post that Alex was a Russian orphan who grew up in the orphanage system in the 90s. Here is what he had to say about his mentality as an orphan:

"There is a phenomenon with orphans, at least for those who grew up in an orphanage, that goes contrary to expectations: a sense of entitlement that comes from years of someone else providing for you. Never mind that their core needs of love and affection were never met, or that their provisions were secondhand, ill-fitting clothing and shoes, or that their showers were cold. Their perceived needs were always met by someone else - and not anyone close to them either, but by an impersonal 'them' (Infinitely More p180)". He goes on to say that this mentality is crippling to the kids once they are on thier own (usually at 16) and have to fend for themselves.

So, aside from the obvious gifts and activities that we will shower on Nastya while she is here, I am also determined to find some area where we can serve together during her visit (and I know it is equally important for my kids to have this experience!) It shouldn't be hard to do since it will be Christmas time, but I hope that we will be able to find a meaningful way to introduce her to the concept of "giving" if she hasn't already had that opportunity. If any of you have any good ideas, I would love to hear them!