She could have been our daughter

Many of you have commented about how much Nastya looks like Samantha. I know, right?! When I saw her picture posted on my friend's blog, I had a visceral reaction and unexplainable tears came. There was suddenly a face associated with these orphans that was too real to ignore. In another time and place she could have been our daughter.

And then I read her bio and the words jumped at me from the page: she didn't think she was beautiful enough. How could she believe something so obviously not true? This was something Greg and I had talked about even before we had children...that if we were to have a daughter one of our top priorities would be to instill in her a sense of self worth. How could we ignore such an obvious need so close to our hearts. She could have been our daughter.

I spent many sleepless nights with this little girl on my mind and in my prayers. Could we really consider this? Up until I saw Nastya's photo, we had come up with some pretty good reasons NOT to host:

*The kids are still young. They squabble a lot. They often don't share well with each other. (And hopefully Nastya never figures out the translation for "poop" because Trevor says that, on average, 30 times a day).

*We are not perfect parents. We lose our temper sometimes. We are sometimes inconsistent in our discipline. We are already tired at the end of the day with just two kids in the house.

*We are still growing as Christian parents. We've been known to miss church from time to time. We don't always pray as much as we'd like to. We are still figuring out the best ways to share Christ with our kids and they speak our language!

To be completely honest, I am both excited and terrified about bringing Nastya into our home. The statements above are all true (and I'm pretty sure they ring true with most of our friends who are parents as well). We are not perfect and there are a lot of unknowns involved in this process. However, I don't share our list of doubts to discredit our decision. I share it to illustrate that, despite our doubts, we don't have to be perfect to be a good host family.

When it comes down to it, we are continually praying and asking that God will take the little that we have to give and turn it into something far greater. We are trusting that He will help us to do our best and that, even in our worst moments, Nastya will see a loving family and realize that she doesn't have to be perfect to be a part of one. We know that, just as he does with Samantha and Trevor, He will cover our imperfection with His grace and help Nastya to receive whatever it is that she needs from us.

II Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."